Friday, June 13, 2008

“Doh! A Deer!” Yep, ’Tis The Funky Friday Round-Up

“There was a time long, long ago in a galaxy not too far from here when we called the Friday Round-Up ‘Funky Friday’s Freaky-Deak’, the ‘freaky-deak’ bit being our little homage to El Maestro, Elmore Leonard. Unfortunately, we’ve subsequently discovered – naïve souls that we are – that ‘freaky-deak’ has a particular connotation in the world of interweb pornography (not pictured, right), and that a number of one-handed surfers were landing at Crime Always Pays to find themselves very disappointed indeed. Apologies, chaps – from here on in, the deak goes unfreaked at CAP Towers.
  “Anyhoo, onwards with the round-up. First off comes the belated news that Liam Durcan won the CWA’s Arthur Ellis ‘Best First Novel’ prize for GARCIA’S HEART, and a hat-tip to Durcan’s fellow Canadian-Irish scribe John McFetridge for giving us the nod as early as a week ago, at which point we were scraping the bottom of a barrel of Patented Elf-Wonking Juice™ over in Bristol. Still, it’s the thought that counts, right?
  “Over now to the lovely people at Fish Publishing in Cork, who have announced that this year’s Fish Knife Award for crime fiction short stories is now taking submissions. “5,000 words on any kind of crime, from piracy to petty larceny, from murder to misdemeanour,” say they, with the winner receiving €1,000, and engraved silver fish-knife, and publication in the 2000 Fish Anthology. The closing date is August 31, and all the details can be found here
  “An old friend of CAP, Sam Millar’s BLOODSTORM was published last month to something of a baloohaha, and it looks like the novel is going to have legs. The good folk over at U.TV are currently perusing it for an online book group review, and so far the buzz has been very positive indeed. Is it Millar time? It’s always Millar time, people …
  “Finally, another old friend of CAP, Mr American Hell himself, has been busy a-doodling and has come up with another crime fiction cartoon classic. We likey. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of cartoons and animation – if anyone knows of anyone working in animation who might be interested getting on board with making a 30-second short movie designed to promote our humble offering THE BIG O on the occasion of its US release, please let them know that we have plenty of ideas but damn-all cash. Yep, that should get ’em battering our door down …
  “And that’s about it for another week, folks. Enjoy the weekend and don’t forget to come back, y’all. Peace, out.”

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.