House Rules

I’m very pleased indeed to announce that my next book, CRIME ALWAYS PAYS, will be published by Severn House early next year (actual house not pictured, right). The book will be published in the UK in March and the US in July, and I’m hugely looking forward to working with the Severn House team, and particularly Kate Lyall Grant.
  It’s an exciting time, although there’s an element of sadness involved too, because I’m leaving behind some terrific people at Liberties Press. I’ve had a few wonderful years at Liberties: they published ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL in 2011 when virtually every other publisher passed on it, and I hope the fact that the book went on to win the Goldsboro ‘Last Laugh’ award at Bristol’s Crimefest in 2012 justified their decision to publish. Liberties also published SLAUGHTER’S HOUND, which was subsequently shortlisted for Best Crime Novel at the Irish Book Awards, and the non-fiction title DOWN THESE GREEN STREETS: IRISH CRIME WRITING IN THE 21ST CENTURY. It’s been a whirlwind few years, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time.
  I sincerely hope that my time with Severn House will be every bit as productive and enjoyable. I know that I’m joining a stable of very fine writers, and a publishing company with a superb record of putting books into the hands of readers. And really, that’s what this game is all about when it all boils down: putting good books in front of people who love to read.
  Speaking of which: if you fancy reading the first chapter of CRIME ALWAYS PAYS, you’ll find it right here …

He Who Laughs Last Laughs Lastiest

You get good weeks and you get bad weeks and I guess this is one of the good weeks. Yesterday I heard that ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL has been shortlisted for the ‘Goldsboro Last Laugh Award’, which will be conferred at Crimefest in Bristol for ‘the best humorous crime novel first published in the British Isles in 2011’.
  And that list of nominees in full:

- Declan Burke for Absolute Zero Cool (Liberties Press)
- Colin Cotterill for Killed at the Whim of a Hat (Quercus)
- Chris Ewan for The Good Thief's Guide to Venice (Simon & Schuster)
- Christopher Fowler for Bryant & May and the Memory of Blood (Doubleday)
- Carl Hiaasen for Star Island (Sphere)
- Doug Johnstone for Smokeheads (Faber and Faber)
- Elmore Leonard for Djibouti (Weidenfeld & Nicolson)
- L.C. Tyler for Herring on the Nile (Macmillan)

  It’s obligatory - but no less accurate for all that - to point out that I haven’t a hope of winning given the stellar quality of the shortlist, but seriously, it really is very nice just to be mentioned in the same company.
  I was shortlisted for the ‘Last Laugh Award’ before, actually, back in 2008, when Ruth Dudley Edwards won it with MURDERING AMERICANS. The book was THE BIG O, which was deliberately conceived as a homage to some of my favourite crime writers, Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiaasen and Barry Gifford. And here we are, four years later, having written an entirely different kind of comic novel to THE BIG O, and staring down the twin barrels of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen …
  So there you have it. There’s been more good news this week, and it’s actually better news than the ‘Last Laugh’ nomination, but today I’m strapped for time because I’m in the middle of proofing a collection of essays that I think will blow your socks off, and I better crack on. Have a great weekend, everyone …

MURDERING AMERICANS – Don’t Try This At Home

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: “Institutions are generally the kind of places where we tend to lock up those who say and do the kinds of things that polite and / or politically correct society frowns upon, so it gives us all kinds of pleasure to announce that Ruth ‘Cuddly’ Dudley Edwards (right), herself a venerable institution, albeit the kind that gives voice to the kinds of things that polite and / or politically correct society frowns upon, deservedly won the Last Laugh Award for MURDERING AMERICANS at the 2008 Bristol Crime Fest. Being not only in the running, but also in the blummin’ room, the Grand Vizier found himself in the very unusual position of deferring to a genius even more evil than his own, and was even further flummoxed when the dastardly Ms Edwards insisted on buying the celebratory drinks when she should really have been basking in our unanimous acclaim, not to mention a mist of champagne spray (the tone of the night was probably summed up by the Grand Vizier’s cohort, who leaned over when the announcement was made and said, “No luck, mate. Next time write a funnier fucking book, eh?”). Anyhoo, it’s electronic bouquets for Ms Edwards: it really couldn’t have happened to a nicer or funnier woman. But remember, folks – murdering Americans is only funny when Ruth Dudley Edwards does it, so don’t try this at home. Peace, out.”

The Embiggened O # 2,014: Always Judge A Book By Its Cover Homage

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: “Things have been going rather swimmingly for our humble offering THE BIG O of late, people. The good folk at Harcourt recently sent through the art-work for the cover of the forthcoming US edition, with which the Grand Viz was well pleased, mainly because it suggested that the designer boffin responsible had paid close attention to the text, to the point where the ever-radiant Maxine Clarke was moved to suggest that the cover itself might represent something of a plot spoiler. That was swiftly followed by the news that THE BIG O has been short-listed for the Bristol Crime Fest ‘Last Laugh’ award, a huge boost to the GV’s scheme for world domination, not least because the vagaries of alphabeticisation mean that the moniker ‘Burke, Declan’ heads the short-list (literally, if not actually). Hot on the heels of that little nugget of joy came the news that the Book Witch had a quick gander at THE BIG O’s sequel, currently labouring under the unlikely title of THE BLUE ORANGE, and professed herself hugely impressed with GV’s ability to apply the spell-check function. Three cheers, two stools and a resounding huzzah, said we, as we limbered up to breast-stroke through the vat of our Patented Elf-Wonking Juice™. But lo! There’s more! For yea, it came to pass that the eagle-eyed John McFetridge dropped us a line to point up the similarities between our cover and that of an edition of KILLSHOT by some American tyro called Ellroy Leonard, or Elmore Lennox, or summat akin. Well, you could’ve knocked us down with a feather made of microscopic sledgehammers. Still, they do say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, do they not? And, given that THE BIG O is a fourth-rate rip-off of Mr Lennox / Leonard’s style, it makes perfect sense that the Harcourt designer boffins should produce a first-rate homage to one of Mr Lennox / Leonard’s covers. Right, that’s us off for a couple of lengths in the vat of Patented Elf-Wonking Juice™. Be beautiful, people. Peace, out.”