Thursday, July 9, 2009

There Will Be BLOOD. Again.

Every now and again the world of Irish crime writing throws up a maverick genius, and ‘Capt. Joseph Barbelo’, pseudonymous author of the quasi-autobiographical BARBELO’S BLOOD, is this year’s diamond shining on crazily from the rough. Or words to that effect. Quoth the blurb elves:
Alright, suppose I’d better write something here or you’ll never buy the fucking thing. I’m Captain Barbelo, pleasure to make your acquaintance.
  Cleverly disguised as a cracking first-class novel, welcome to my eighty-two year quest for the nefarious Illuminati, the truth behind the current global extermination project, satanic blood-fest rituals, mind control and transdimensional realities.
  A crash course in state-sponsored terrorism, military black ops, streetwise easy logic and good auld natural selection, you’ve got everything from cancer cures, to fit-birds with guns, to gangsters and the world banking scam – skulduggery galore.
  Your proverbial win-win situation.
  But, a cautionary word about rebellions, lawful or otherwise. Short of the homemade explosives section, (email me) you should find everything you need here to make a bloody good start. All I ask is that you use your loaf, think before you act, and do the job in proper order – or don’t do it at all.
  In for a penny, in for a pound.
  There’s a disclaimer about all that inside, but I’ll say it again: I’m not gonna be held responsible if any of yous release your inner killer and muff it up. Not my fucking problem. Alright?
  Other than that, get stuck in and enjoy yourselves.
  Pukka.
  I’m only 13 pages in, and even though I think I’m being had, I’m going to recommend this one. No kidding, it reads like Ken Bruen’s stroppy uncle with a bad case of Tourettes and one too many viewings of A Clockwork Orange under his belt. Which is, just to clarify, a very good thing indeed.
  You read it here first, folks. BARBELO’S BLOOD by Capt. Joseph Barbelo. Make it so.

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.