“Ya Wanna Do It Here Or Down The Station, Punk?”: Paul D. Brazill

Yep, it’s rubber-hose time, folks: a rapid-fire Q&A for those shifty-looking usual suspects ...

What crime novel would you most like to have written?
I really wish I could write a well crafted, well written mystery with strong characters. I’ve recently read William Ryan’s splendid novels THE HOLY THIEF and THE BLOODY MEADOW, and if I could do that, I would be a very happy man.

What fictional character would you most like to have been?
Dorian Grey, before it all went pear-shaped.

Who do you read for guilty pleasures?
No pleasures make me guilty but I did enjoy Ian McEwan’s SATURDAY, even though the hero is a knob.

Most satisfying writing moment?
Getting a story in one of Maxim Jakubowski’s ‘Mammoth Books of Best British Crime’ made me think I hadn’t wasted people’s time.

The best Irish crime novel is …?
Best one so far this year is THE COLD COLD GROUND by Adrian McKinty.

What Irish crime novel would make a great movie?
THE COLD COLD GROUND would make great telly. Gerard Brennan’s THE POINT would be a beaut film.

Worst / best thing about being a writer?
I reckon for most people who do it for a living, the worst thing about it is that the lack of dosh. For a dilettante like me, it’s all fun and games. Even when someone loses an eye.

The pitch for your next book is …?
Well, I’ll quote the brilliant Ian Ayris who described my novella GUNS OF BRIXTON as ‘Charlie Williams meets Pulp Fiction.’ Suits me, sir!

Who are you reading right now?
Richard Godwin’s MR GLAMOUR and Tony Black’s MURDER MILE.

God appears and says you can only write OR read. Which would it be?
Read. Much less faff.

The three best words to describe your own writing are …?
Ad hoc. Slapdash. Twoddle.

Paul D. Brazill’s Amazon page can be found right here.

The Best Things In Life Are Free … Books

Now that’s what I call service. Not one but two complimentary copies of THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF BEST BRITISH MYSTERIES (Book 8), edited by Maxim Jakubowski, arrived in the post on Friday, which is rather decent, as I’m sure you’ll agree. The full roll-call of contributors can be found below, with yours truly’s name popping up rather incongruously in the company of some stellar talent. To wit:

The must-have annual anthology for every crime fiction fan – the year’s top new British short stories selected by leading crime critic Maxim Jakubowski.
  This great annual covers the full range of mystery fiction, from noir and hardboiled crime to ingenious puzzles and amateur sleuthing. Packed with top names such as: Ian Rankin (including a new Rebus), Alexander McCall Smith, David Hewson, Christopher Brookmyre, Simon Kernick, A.L. Kennedy, Louise Walsh, Kate Atkinson, Colin Bateman, Stuart McBride and Andrew Taylor.
  The full list of contributors is as follows: Ian Rankin, Mick Herron, Denise Mina, Edward Marston, Marilyn Todd, Kate Atkinson, Stuart MacBride, David Hewson, Alexander McCall Smith, Nigel Bird, Robert Barnard, Lin Anderson, Allan Guthrie, A.L. Kennedy, Simon Kernick, Roz Southey, Andrew Taylor, Sheila Quigley, Phil Lovesey, Declan Burke, Keith McCarthy, Christopher Brookmyre, Gerard Brennan, Matthew J. Elliott, Colin Bateman, Ray Banks, Simon Brett, Adrian Magson, Jay Stringer, Amy Myers, Nick Quantrill, Stephen Booth, Paul Johnston, Zoë Sharp, Paul D. Brazill, Peter Lovesey, Louise Welsh, Liza Cody, Peter Turnbull and Nicholas Royle.

  Nice. Given that the good people at Running Press were kind enough to send me two copies, I’m going to go crazy and give one of them away. To be in with a chance of winning it, just answer the following question:

What’s the greatest short story you’ve ever read, and why?

  Answers in the comment box below, please, leaving a contact email address (using (at) rather than @ to confuse the spam munchkins), before noon on Thursday, April 7th. Et bon chance, mes amis …

On Books As Hangover Cures

Blogger extraordinaire and Spinetingler Award nominee Paul D. Brazill did me up a treat yesterday, when he put together his list of ‘Ten Crime Books To Cure Your Hangover’ for the Mulholland blog. For lo! The name of Declan Burke appeared not once but twice. To wit:

5&6. THE BIG O / CRIME ALWAYS PAYS by Declan Burke

THE BIG O and its follow up CRIME ALWAYS PAYS actually are that oxymoron ‘screwball noir’. These novels are two cracking, fast-paced, clever and very droll road movies with a top drawer cast that includes a narcoleptic called Sleeps and a one eyed wolf. Twists and turns, spicy dialogue and scenes which really make you ‘LOL’, as the young people say.

  Sweet. Thank you kindly, Mr Brazill. For the full list of hangover-curing books, clickety-click here …
  Mind you, it’s a yin/yang world. The Mulholland blog linked through to the Good Reads website, and upon investigating further, I discovered that a certain Marta had rated THE BIG O a one-star read, her review in its entirety declaring that THE BIG O was - and I quote - ‘WORST book i have ever read. Period.’ A damning enough review in itself, of course, and deliciously scathing in its semi-punctuated contempt, but matters are further clarified by the fact that Marta has awarded four- and five-star reviews to novels featuring teenage wizards, teenage vampires and sundry tomes variously titled I GAVE YOU MY HEART BUT YOU SOLD IT ONLINE, MY HEART MIGHT BE BROKEN BUT MY HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT, IDA B AND HER PLANS TO MAXIMISE FUN, AVOID DISASTER AND (POSSIBLY) SAVE THE WORLD, and THE EARTH, MY BUTT AND OTHER BIG ROUND THINGS.
  So there you have it. Hopefully Marta will like my next novel, I WAS A NEUROTIC TEENAGE VAMPIRE WIZARD FROM OUTER SPACE BUT AT LEAST I HAD THE KARDASHIANS, a little more.
  If not, well, it just goes to prove that you can’t fool all the people all the time. A salutary lesson, indeed.