Belfast: Giggle City?

The ever-lovely Ciara Dwyer interviewed the ever-fragrant Artist Formerly Known As Colin Bateman (right) for the Sunday Independent last weekend, on the latest leg of the Bateman world domination / ORPHEUS RISING tour, during which the Batemeister waxed lyrical about that most elusive of sprites, Norn Iron humour. To wit:

“I think Northern humour is very dark. You laugh about everything that goes on. Maybe it’s not unique in that a joke always follows a tragedy, but it’s how you deal with things. When David Trimble was involved with the peace process he actually gave one of my books into 10 Downing Street, saying: ‘This says more about Northern Ireland than you’re going to find in a text book. This is how things are.’ I tend to write serious stories which happen to be very funny. The humour is always going to be there. One of my books, MOHAMMED MAGUIRE, was taking the piss out of the hunger strikes. It’s not that everything is fair game and that I decide that I am going to have a go at the hunger strikes. It just sort of comes out and people seem to like it. My last book, I PREDICT A RIOT, was the first of all my books that received a sustained amount of critical negative feedback from readers. It started off as a serial in a newspaper in Belfast and because I couldn’t swear in it, I put asterisks in it. I got dozens of emails saying, ‘Bring back the swearing, we miss the swearing,’ which is a sad reflection on the people who are reading my books. But I’m quite at home with them, the fuckers.”

Hmmm. Can swearing ever be big and clever? Or is it only so when Master Bateman uses rudeys? Only time, that rat-faced frickin’ clam-mouthed curmudgeon, will tell …

If The Hollywood Hills Won’t Come To Mohammed …

It’s a busy week for Colin Bate – oops, sorry, for Bateman (right), folks. First off he has a documentary on his home town of Bangor screening tonight, Monday, on BBC 1 Northern Ireland at 10.35pm, which is imaginatively titled ‘Bateman on Bangor’. Featuring Jimmy Nesbitt and Lord Trimble, the documentary takes a look at how growing up in Bangor turned Bateman into the globe-bestriding colossus he is today. Meanwhile, the rather more imaginatively titled MOHAMMED MAGUIRE, with Bateman on writing and directing duties, inched a little closer to the silver screen this week. Quoth the Batemeister:

“We’ve now launched a standalone website for the movie version of MOHAMMED MAGUIRE if you would all care to take a look. The script is written, the director is signed up – that’s me, obviously, I have a certain pull in these matters – and all that’s now required is some cigar chomping bigwig to come in and finance the damn thing. Go here …”

If the tasteful poster below is anything to go by, this one should be pulling in an Oscar roughly about six months after they get the Middle East sorted out …