Sunday, July 6, 2008

“Annnnnnnnnd … We’re Back.”


Good news and bad news, people. That we’re back, of course, is the bad news. The good news, however, is that there was something of a coup d’etat while the Grand Viz was away on holiday, and Princess Lilyput (pictured above, grovelling minions just out of picture) is now running the show here at Crime Always Pays Towers. There’ll be changes, apparently, and as most of them will be imposed by the necessity for more Lily-time, they’ll be fairly drastic.
  The first is that the new national anthem is Three Gypsies Are We, and if that doesn’t sound familiar it’s because the Princess commissioned it from the Court Composer Elf only last Monday as the royal cortege wound its way through the West Country towards Dartmoor. Sung to a light, Gilbert & Sullivan-ish operetta air, the anthem runneth thusly:
Three gypsies are we /
Off to see the sea /
To seeeeeeee what we can see /
Where shall we go? /
Nobody knows /
Oooonnnnly we three gypsies.
  A modest piece, it’s true, but the Princess seems to like it. There’s no need to stand, by the way; she’s a fairly easygoing tyrant.
  It’s good to be back, people. Even if I have been deposed …

7 comments:

  1. The best coup since Woody Allen in Bananas.

    Welcome home.

    The song sounds like a hit. Make sure Lily gets her royalties.

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  2. Welcome back!

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  3. I didn't stand. I curtsied. Dartmoor? You weren't blessed with the best of weather then. Good to see you all back, safe and sound.

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  4. Welcome back!

    Now, about these changes... they won't affect A Gonzo Noir, will they? And when can we expect a new installment? About nowish would be good.

    gb

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  5. Cheers, folks, much obliged. Crime Fic? Apparently we don't have to stand yet because Lilyput can't, but that may change. Gerard, man - there'll be a new installment some time this week, just as soon as I pull my head out of my fundament. Cheers, Dec

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  6. You will be shocked at how suddenly babies rise. And then trouble begins.

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  7. You come on holiday from Ireland to Devon you obviously like your weather wet and foggy.
    Princess Lily what a beautiful boss lady, nice you are back.

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.