Monday, July 23, 2007

Ask Not For Whom The Poll Bells

The elves have voted early and often, the last hanging chad has been accounted for, and finally we can reveal the results of the inaugural Crime Always Pays Poll to discover the Funniest Irish Crime Fiction Writer, Like, Ever™. To no one’s real surprise, The Artist Formerly Known As Colin Bateman (right) topped the vote with 47%, followed by Eoin Colfer and Ruth Dudley Edwards sharing 23% each, and Pauline McLynn coming home with 9%. In the heady hours leading up to the vote’s close, we contacted He Who Must Be Called Bateman for an appropriate response to the news that he was leading the most hotly contested contest since the Sweden-Finland flip-off in the 2006 World Championship Sauna Tiddlywinks Tourney. Quoth Col:
“Well, I would be truly staggered and honoured if I won, but I would prefer not to count my chickens until I actually get my hands on the cheque. And it is cashed.”
Hmmm. Wethinks there’ll be an unconscionable number of uncounted chicks around chez Bateman in the weeks and months to come … Meanwhile, cast a cold eye on the new poll, above right, and tell us who you think is the Best Irish Crime Fiction PI, Like, Ever™. The countdown staaaarts … now.

2 comments:

  1. Mr. Batemen is never truly surprised by his success. Look behind the blushing facade, the "Oh, shucks" who is confused, yes, but meticulously so.

    I did an interview with him once and found myself threatening him with violence after the first question was answered. He is a very naughty man.

    I forgot what my point was, if I even had one. Damn tequila!

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  2. Jennifer? It's no longer 'Mr Bateman' ... it's 'Bateman'. Although it is permissible to refer to him, obliquely, as 'The Artist Formerly Known As Colin Bateman'. Or 'The funny Irish writer guy'. Sorry, but we don't make the rules, we just enforce 'em ... Cheers, Declan

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.