On Log-Rolling In An Istanbul Smoking Lounge

I was in the smoking lounge at Istanbul Airport a couple of weeks ago, as isn’t my wont, during a layover for our flight to Northern Cyprus, when I got an email from Kevin McCarthy, he of PEELER fame, that pretty much made my holiday even before it properly began. I’d given Kevin an m/s of my forthcoming ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL as part of my ongoing campaign to generate blurbs that might pique readers’ interest, with the proviso that if he didn’t like it, he was perfectly entitled to assert his right to remain silent and / or take the Fifth. I should also point out, in the interests of accountability and transparency, that I liked Kevin’s debut PEELER very much, and said so when I reviewed it for the Irish Times, and that I’ve since met with him a few times and shared a couple of beers. So you might want to factor in all the potential for log-rolling when I present Kevin’s verdict below. To wit:

“ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL is that rarest of things - a novel that makes you stop and think and scramble to finish at the same time. A novel of ideas as well as a first rate thriller, it sees Burke stretching the crime thriller genre until it snaps and then sewing it back together with some of the finest prose and funniest dialogue you’ll encounter this year. It’s a novel that reveals the perverse combination of anomie and lunatic optimism that all novelists feel when in the throes of creation. A brilliant x-ray revealing Greene’s shard of ice in the heart of every writer; the secret sharer in the dark cabin of the novelist’s imagination. Quite simply, one of the finest Irish novels written in a long time.” - Kevin McCarthy

  So there you have it. I thank you kindly, sir.
  By the way, the inimitable Critical Mick reviewed PEELER over at his interweb lair recently, with the verdict running thusly:

“Speaking as both a history nerd and a book nerd, there’s nothing better than discovering a new novelist who completely satisfies both interests. Kevin McCarthy has interwoven literature and historical research, fiction and reality. PEELER is a cracking good tale - an eye-opener in many ways. Consider it personally recommended from me to you - PEELER is the first addition to Critical Mick’s list of Best Books Read in 2011.”

  Meanwhile, and just as my spirits were flagging out in Cyprus, I got a google alert for Eoin Colfer, which proved to be an interview with Eoin published by Kirkus Reviews. The relevant (to me, at least) gist ran thusly:

PLUGGED nails that staccato noir style that keep crime novelists and airport bookstores in business. Stylistically, where do you draw inspiration for the writing of this novel?

“I have been immersing myself in this style for decades and for at least one of those would not read anything but crime. If nobody died horribly, I did not want to know. Of course I loved the classics, but we have our own classics standing the test of time right now: Michael Connelly and John Connolly, Ken Bruen, Mark Billingham, Ridley Pearson, Carl Hiaasen, Declan Burke, Colin Bateman … I want to get on a shelf with these guys and take a photo.” - Eoin Colfer

  Steady on, Tiger! Oh, you mean you want to take a photo of the books … right.
  Anyway, you can take it that I’m pretty damn flattered to be mentioned in such august company. Providing, of course, that Eoin wasn’t confusing me with either Declan Hughes or Edmund Burke. Which happens more often that you’d think. The latter, mostly.
  The Big Question: is log-rolling the new Irish national pastime and / or only growth industry in these benighted times, and should we lobby for it to be introduced as an Olympic sport? Over to you, people …

Tearing Up THE RULE BOOK

Rob Kitchin’s debut THE RULE BOOK was published last month by the Pen Press, a UK-based self-publishing outfit along the lines of Lulu et al, which outlaw behaviour may explain why there’s been nary a peep about the novel, review-wise. Until now, that is, for lo! Irish interweb outlaw-type Critical Mick has been busy-busy-busy critiquing THE RULE BOOK, with the gist running thusly:

Critical Mick says: THE RULE BOOK puts Rob Kitchin on the Irish Crime map. It’s gripping, gruesome, and a hell of a fun puzzle. It shows careful research (right down to the latitude and longitude of various points around Dublin’s Phoenix Park) and digs deep into an interesting character. I was kept guessing until the end, desperately hoping that this novel would not go the crappy Hollywood route. There is a town called Hollywood in Ireland, but this serial killer’s spree gives it a wide berth.

  Nice. And nice it is too to see a writer with a good novel unafraid to go the unconventional route of self-publishing. Tearing up the rule book, indeed. For the rest of Critical Mick’s review, clickety-click here …
  Meanwhile, the vid below is the book trailer for THE RULE BOOK. Roll it there, Collette …

Literary Hi-Jinks; and, Being A Jinx

Off with us then on Tuesday night to Waterstone’s, to hear Brian McGilloway and Declan Hughes (left and right, respectively) give it large about their new novels, BLEED A RIVER DEEP and ALL THE DEAD VOICES, in particular, and crime fiction in general. Interesting it was too to hear the gents chat about how the crime writer needs to be on his or her toes to keep abreast of events, in terms – here in Ireland, at least – of the boom-to-bust economy, and the recent upsurge in dissident Republicanism.
  Among the glitterati were Alan Glynn, whose forthcoming WINTERLAND is a terrific read; Professor Ian Ross of Trinity College, the proverbial gentleman and scholar; Critical Mick, the proverbial saint and scholar; and John Connolly, whose perfectly coiffed barnet Squire Hughes appears to be measuring in the pic above, perhaps for some bizarre phrenology cult they’ve got going on (note too the tome FROM POVERTY TO POWER, cunningly located between two crime writers for maximum irony).
  Anyhoos, post-Q&A it was off to the pub for the second leg of the annual Mighty Pool vs Chelski Chumps League face-off, which ended 4-4. I got there just in time to miss the second of the Pool’s goals, when they went 2-0 up, and left just before they knocked in the second brace with ten minutes to go. It may be coming time to consider the possibility that I’m a jinx.
  Back in 1981, I went over to Anfield to see the Mighty Pool play Brighton (& Hove Albion) F.C. Back then the Pool could boast the likes of Dalglish and Hansen, Clemence and Souness, Neal and Kennedy (possibly even two Kennedys), Terry McDermott, Phil Thompson … in essence, it was the side that beat Real Madrid to win the European Cup later that year. The result on the day? 1-0 to Brighton, Michael Robinson bundling one in at the Kop end. Jinx?
  But back to business … A little birdie tells me that Alex Barclay (right) will be taking part in the inaugural Image Author Evening, alongside Claire Kilroy and John Boyne. It takes place in the Fitzwilliam Hotel, Stephen’s Green, Dublin, at 6.30pm on April 23rd, and you’re promised ‘refreshments, canapés and a book-filled goodie bag’, the event to be hosted by our good friend Bert Wright. If that all sounds a bit too good to be true, well, tickets are €40 a pop, with group rates available. Seems pricey to me, but then I’m a penniless scribe, so what do I know…? For details and or / booking, contact Jennifer Ryan on 01 280 8415 or email jryan@image.ie.
  I won’t be there, obviously. Not because it’s too expensive, but because I’m a jinx, and if I turn up Alex Barclay will probably start speaking in tongues or summat …

The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled …

… was to convince you that that line originated with ‘The Usual Suspects’, and not Baudelaire. Anyhoos, for such a fine, upstanding pillar of the community (see here for his charity work), Critical Mick appreciates a good scam better than most. T’was he, indeed, who pointed your humble host in the direction of Eamon Dillon’s THE FRAUDSTERS, in the process recommending it most heartily. Quoth the blurb elves:

THERE are as many ways to earn cash dishonestly as to make an honest living. Fraud is now an international industry, with a shadowy underworld network where everything from songbirds and garlic, to designer goods and medicines are faked and sold on.
  THE FRAUDSTERS details the proliferation of con tricks, old and new, being deployed every day by an army of these hard-working criminals. It tells how con artists come in all shapes and sizes – the scammers who stick to their flimsy stories, no matter what, the white collar grafters who like to think that nobody gets hurt when they hoodwink a financial institution, and then there are the psychopaths who are cold-blooded about their victims. They will pretend to be your friend, a respected banker, or even a lover, to win the trust they plan to violate.
  For some the lure of illicit money is more potent than doing a day’s work. Dillon reveals how identify theft works, the dangers of joining pyramid schemes and how charlatans, pretending to be successful business people, exploit loopholes in tax regulations to live the lifestyle of the super-rich. He describes how billions have been stolen by highly-organised gangs of swindlers, who sell unlikely tales through internet chat rooms and forums, and how arrogance, greed, gullibility and insecurity combine to make some people easy prey for the con artists.
  THE FRAUDSTERS tells the stories of these modern day criminals and their victims.

  It’s an obvious one, but my favourite scam novel is Jim Thompson’s THE GRIFTERS. Anyone got a really good grift novel we should be reading?

“I CSI Dead People …”

Vanessa O’Loughlin of Inkwell gets in touch to say … well, why don’t I let Vanessa tell you? To wit:

“For those of you who are new to Inkwell, I run one workshop exclusively for those on the mailing list (not detailed on the website) - the Inkwell CSI Workshop (21st March) which is run in conjunction with An Garda Siochana. The Scenes of Crimes guys from Dun Laoghaire will this year be recreating the discovery of a body and walking you through an investigation step by step, giving you a chance to see forensics close up, to check out their box of tricks and to ask all the questions that have been bothering you. A must for crime writers and anyone writing intrigue, dark romance or a thriller.
  “Sandra Mara (top right), Ireland’s first female PI and author of NO JOB FOR A WOMAN, will also be joining us. As with all workshops, it is €175 for the full day (9.00-4.30), including lunch, the Inkwell Tips pack and all your writing materials. If you’ve any questions or queries, do get in touch, this workshop will not be run again until 2011. So book now!”

  You heard the woman … Meanwhile, Critical Mick has hatched the latest in his inexhaustible list of cunning plans. Mick? What’s the big idea?

“In the past four years of unruly reviewing and author interviewing, Mick has collected a groaning bookshelf of Irish fiction and non-fiction titles signed by their authors. Starting with six well-known works, these will be auctioned into the hands of fellow book fans in March 2009, all in aid of The Alzheimer Society of Ireland.”

So there you have it. Good books for a good cause. How can you possibly resist?

In Which The CLOTH Maketh The Woman

Had a bit of a strange albeit pleasant dream last night, in which evil genius Critical Mick descended from his eyrie-style lair to whisper in my shell-like, “Here, what do you make of yon Geraldine McMenamin?”
  “Who dat?” says I.
  “Debut author,” says he – not whispering now, because I’m awake, in the dream at least – “who released THE SAME CLOTH just last month.”
  “Ashamed as I am to admit it,” says I, “but I’ve never heard of her.”
  “You have now,” says he. “Oh, and lay off the cheese before you go to bed. Now go back to sleep and remember to write something about Geraldine in the morning. Or else.”
  “Or else what?”
  “Or the next time I come visit, I’ll be going commando in your Snoopy pyjamas.”
  “Fair go,” says I.
  So – Geraldine McMenamin, THE SAME CLOTH. Quoth the blurb elves:

When Helen Rafferty returns to the village of her childhood in rural Ireland, a chain of events is set in motion that leads her on a chase to discover who has kidnapped her only son. Old childhood friends, haunting images of her past, deep family secrets and the stark reality of her present life are all laid bare as she races frantically to catch up with the kidnapper’s demands. Nothing is as it seems as Helen, submerged in self-doubt and deception, struggles to distinguish facts from hearsay, reality from ruse and trickery. As the truth emerges, so also does Helen’s understanding of who she is and the fundamental lies that have shaped her life. The final denouement is sure to startle.

  Yes indeedy, and I’m reliably informed that the denouement before the final one is a cracker too. Geraldine? If you’re out there, drop us a line – we’d love you to do a Q&A. And if that Critical Mick bloke gets in touch with you, tell him I want my Snoopy jammys back. Ta.

The Embiggened O # 4,034: Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Bandwidth

THE BIG O got all teched up this weekend just gone, folks, although confirmed Luddite yours truly can’t claim any credit. For lo! It came to pass that Critical Mick swung by CAP Towers one day in the recent past and whipped out his microphone-shaped thing and pointed it at your genial host. Well, I had to say something, didn’t I? Actually, I said quite a lot, and the Mickster recorded most of it. The results can be heard at The Writing Show – jump right on this for the MP3 download.
  Meanwhile, a mate of mine called Shay Bagnall laments not being born in Italy, where – apparently – he would have been called the rather more romantic Giacomo di Bagnalli. We call him Baggs. Anyhoos, said Baggsman was the one responsible for lashing together the vid below for THE BIG O, a very generous gesture with which I’m very well pleased. Incidentally, remember that name – El Baggalero is currently putting the finishing touches to his crime fic magnum opus, and should be going looking for an agent / publisher any day now. You have been warned … Roll it there, Collette.

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Big Audio Dynamite

Those of you who have wondered exactly how dulcet the Grand Vizier’s tones are need wonder no longer. For lo! The Critical Mickster has done us proud, as always, and hoisted an audio interview on his interweb malarkey – scroll down about halfway, and it’s there on the right-hand side. Or just clickety-click on this … It’s been a while since Mick conducted the interview, but if memory serves I’m waffling on about why Ruth ‘Cuddly’ Dudley-Edwards (right) is so cuddly, why Gene Kerrigan is the master of gritty Irish noir, and why everything is so blummin’ wonderful in the wonderful world of Irish crime fiction. Yep, business as usual, then …

Babysitter, With Occasional Gun

And so to the County Hall in Dun Laoghaire for Books 2008 and the first of the Irish crime writing panels, which featured Tana French, Ruth Dudley Edwards, Alex Barclay, Gene Kerrigan and Declan Hughes talking up ‘Heroes and Villains’, with Paul Johnston (right) in the moderator’s chair. Good stuff it was too, with Enid Blyton’s children’s mystery stories being cited as an early inspiration to more than one writer, Alex Barclay talking about charting ‘the evolution of a serial killer’ from child to adult, Tana French chatting about her fascination with what makes a person kill, Ruth Dudley Edwards touching on her fascination with what makes a person a victim, and Gene Kerrigan being intrigued by the kind of ordinary guy who ‘will babysit your children and then go to work the next day with a gun in his pocket’.
  Afterwards, a young girl called Lily went around collecting the autographs of every writer present. It took the combined persuasion of John Connolly and Alex Barclay to convince her that the dubious-looking guy skulking by the door was, in fact, an author. “You know I’m not famous or anything,” I told her. “I don’t care,” she said, “if you’re a real writer.” I believe the children are our future, etc. I told her that my daughter’s name is Lily too. She was pleased about that. “Tell her I’m Lily Conlon,” she said. I will.
  Eats and drinks were the order of the night in the aftermath, during which I discovered that Paul Johnston is (a) a top bloke and (b) the story I’m currently working on will need to be either reworked dramatically or scrapped entire. Which is a bit of a bummer, because I’ve been working on it for five or six years, on and off, and written close to half a million words. Still, Paul didn’t tell me anything I haven’t been secretly suspecting myself for quite some time now. And I did manage to postpone the nervous breakdown until I left the restaurant. So that was good.
  Anyhoos, it’s upward and onward to this morning’s 11am panel, with Critical Mick waving the baton. The topic? ‘Real Fiction, Real Ireland’. Except when I was writing THE BIG O, I was very deliberately writing a story with a non-specific setting. Plus it’s a comedy crime caper that bears very little relation to reality. Should be fun …

Messrs Connolly And Hughes Would Like To Announce …

Perennial messers John Connolly and Declan Hughes launch THE REAPERS and THE DYING BREED, respectively, at Dubray Books on Grafton Street in Dublin next Thursday, May 8th, and have been kind enough to extend an invitation to toddle along to anyone who happens to be in the general vicinity (possible consequences pictured, right). For no further information whatsoever, or at least not yet, you could always check out Dec Hughes’ interweb yokeybus, The Parting Glass; and for even less information, if that were possible, try John Connolly’s blog – albeit with the kicker that there’s a smashing piece on Ross Macdonald’s THE CHILL, which is the first book in JC’s on-line book club. The Grand Vizier has deigned to allow the elves and HR Pufnstuf the evening off to attend, although the flying monkeys are still grounded after the recent ‘unpleasantness’ with the belly-dancing dwarves in the Duke pub. Anyhoo, Critical Mick, sir? If you bring the picinick basket, I’ll bring the blanket and the Yogi Bear quips …

The Sunday Roast

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: “A few tasty little interweb Sunday dumplings for your delectation, people. First up is CAP’s good friend Bernd Kochanowski (right), who is currently hosting the latest incarnation of the Crime Carnival over at Krimis Internationale and doing nothing whatsoever to undermine the stereotype of German efficiency and thoroughness. Quoth Bernd:

“Therefore it isn’t easy to present something new. Most of the keepers of blogs work hard to present regularly new topics and new posts. As a result readers are at a certain risk to forget last week’s post, not to mention last month’s post, although these posts had thrilled them so much. Therefore my question to you: Which older post would you like to see in a blog museum?”

  “We’re taking the Fifth. Meanwhile, over at Detectives Beyond Borders, Peter Rozovsky may or may not announce the first outing for Noir at the Bar, a revolutionary new concept that juxtaposes crime fiction readings with music. The bar in question is the Tritone in Philly, and the first writer up to the mike is – trumpet parp there, maestro – Duane Swierczynski. It’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but we like it, etc.
  “Finally, the one-man lunatic asylum that is Critical Mick has a review of Tana French’s IN THE WOODS, but as always there’s a twist. Firstly, it appears that Critical Mick’s copy of IN THE WOODS was snaffled by a literary-minded burglar, and secondly, the Mickster has provided an mp3 version of the review for all of you funky, teched-up interweb heads out there. Mick also has a request of us, which runneth thusly:

“If you are looking for content for CAP, feel free to mention the Writing Show’s current First Chapter of a Novel Contest. You were good enough to mention it last year: you can call this Bleeding Fingers II. The contest is open for submissions now, and there’s still about three weeks to meet the early deadline. Full details are on The Writing Show’s website. I will be most grateful.”

  “Mickster? We’re not worthy. Although we do represent decent value for money, particularly now that the euro is so strong against sterling and the dollar. Love one another, people. Out.”

The Embiggened O # 1,002: That Was The Year That Was

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: It being April 16, and the anniversary of the first ever Crime Always Pays post, and the three-week anniversary of the arrival of Princess Lilyput (right), and only eight days after the two-year anniversary of the betrothal of Mr and Mrs Grand Vizier (and, sadly, the one-year anniversary of the death of the late, great Kurt Vonnegut), the Grand Viz would like to take this opportunity to emerge on to his entirely metaphorical balcony and address his incredibly loyal readership of three in an Urbi et Orbi-style orgy of sentimental reminiscing. To wit:
  “It’s been a strange and wonderful year, people. As all three regular readers will know, Crime Always Pays came into being last April in order to promote (a) Irish crime fiction, (b) THE BIG O, and (c) the monstrous ego of CAP’s Grand Vizier, Declan Burke.
  “On the Irish crime fiction front, we believed there was that there was a lot of talented people out there writing novels that were relevant to an Ireland that has undergone cataclysmic social and economic upheaval in the last decade or so. We were pleasantly surprised to discover that there was a hell of a lot more than just ‘a lot’ of talented writers out there: it’s no exaggeration to say that Irish crime fiction can make a genuine claim to be a substantial sub-genre of the crime fiction genus.
  “Meanwhile, once we hit the interweb highway, we were pleasantly surprised to discover that there were two on-line Irish crime fiction resources already available, Critical Mick and Cormac Millar, although the real shock to the system came when both proved incredibly generous with their time and space in helping Crime Always Pays get established as the – oh yes! – third most relevant Irish crime fiction web presence. Gentlemen, I thank ’ee kindly.
  “In fact, the kindness of strangers has been the most satisfying aspect of the blogging year. From all corners of the globe, people have been unfailingly helpful, friendly and generous. It helps, of course, that Crime Always Pays is a crime fiction blog, and that the crime fiction family’s willingness to lend a hand seems inexhaustible. To everyone who visited, wrote, linked and lurked their way to giving CAP almost 55,000 page impressions in the last year, a heartfelt thank you from the Grand Vizier and the, ahem, tireless elves.
  “As for THE BIG O, well, where do we start? Hmm, the start, you say? Cunning … Having sent THE BIG O to a selection of UK publishers, and received a selection of gracious rejections, the gist of which runneth ‘not commercial enough’, the Grand Vizier decided to bypass Irish publishing houses and self-publish the novel, simply as an exercise in learning the industry from the ground up. At this point, fate in the lovely form of Marsha Swan of Hag’s Head Press intervened. She suggested a co-publishing deal, on a 50-50 costs and profits arrangement, and THE BIG O was duly published in April, with a wonderful jacket design courtesy of Carly Schnur. With a promotion budget of precisely nil to work with, and lacking the power that bigger publishing houses can depend upon for reviews, blurbs and generally spreading the word, the Grand Vizier founded Crime Always Pays and got hustling. The rest, as they say, is history – i.e., a load of stuff no one really cares about anymore. Suffice to say that Stacia Decker, then of Harcourt, took pity on us, and signed THE BIG O on a two-book deal, the first of which will appear in all its hardback glory in August. The sequel, currently labouring under the unlikely working title of THE BLUE ORANGE, is already written and bursting with the literary equivalent of Vitamin C …
  “Meanwhile, to all the reviewers, both in print and on-line, who took the time to read and then write about THE BIG O, we are, and will remain, hugely grateful – unfortunately, we’re delighted to be able to say, there were too many to name individually, but you all know who you are. To the writers we persecuted for blurbs until they uncled and signed their names to the big-ups we’d pre-written for them, may you all wake up tomorrow morning to discover that the scribbling elves were in and finished your current novel while you were sleeping. And to everyone who parted with their hard-earned money to buy THE BIG O, and then spent your precious reading time on it – never, ever, underestimate what that might mean to an aspiring writer. God bless you, everyone …
  “Finally, a few special thank yous: to Claire Coughlan and Chico ‘Chicovich’ Morientes, for their help in keeping Crime Always Pays on the rails; to my agent, Jonathan Williams; Marsha Swan at Hag’s Head Press; Ken Bruen, as always a rock of support; John Connolly, for sneaking around and giving THE BIG O and EIGHTBALL BOOGIE the hup-ya to anyone who will listen, and refusing to take any credit for it; Charles Ardai for recommending THE BIG O to Harcourt; the ever-lovely Stacia Decker, ex-Harcourt, for believing in THE BIG O; Allan Guthrie, for his sage advice; and finally, and most importantly, to the ever-ravishing Mrs Grand Vizier, aka Aileen (right), for her constant support, strength and encouragement, particularly as she spent the latter half of 2007 and the first three months of 2008 pregnant with our impending arrival, Princess Lilyput, currently the Granny Smith of the Grand Vizier’s eye.
  “As for the rest of 2008: it’s upward and onward, people, and spare not the horses, James …”

Funky Friday’s Freaky-Deak

Being a weekly cornucopia of Irish crime fiction-related interweb baloohaha, to wit: Gerard Brennan interviews Adrian McKinty over at CSNI, with McKinty offering the following sage advice to future writers: “The lesson is you can’t rely on the publisher, you have to work all the angles. Writing the book is only half the story, you have to go out there and sell the bloody thing with or without the help of your publisher.” Amen, brother … Meanwhile, Gerard Brennan is subjected to the rubber hose treatment over at Critical Mick, in which he chats about his current writing projects, PIRHANAS and FIREPROOF … John Boyne’s THE MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY is sailing your way soon, but over at Inspired Minds he’s talking to Breandáin O’Shea about THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS, which is being turned into a movie as you read … Writing in the Sunday Indo, Celia Keenan casts her eye over the Irish Children’s Book of the Year shortlist, but somehow manages to totally overlook The Artist Formerly Known As Colin Bateman (sob) … Yet another competition giving away copies of DB Shan’s PROCESSION OF THE DEAD can be found at SFX, while over at Crime Time UK, Barry Forshaw chats with DB about making the jump from the young adult market to the adult market … Oh, and while you’re faffing about over at Crime Time UK, check out Barry’s interview with GALLOWS LANE author Brian McGilloway … Visit Dublin has all the info for the Dublin Writers Festival, which takes place from June 11 to 15, although the only crime writer we can see on the slate is John Boyne … Via Abe Books comes a decent piece on John Banville turning all Benny Blanco … Congratulations to Catherine O’Flynn, who won the Waterstone’s Newcomer of the Year gong for her novel WHAT WAS LOST in the Nibbies … There’s a cracking interview with BLOODSTORM author Sam Millar (hat-tip to CSNI for the nod) in the current issue of the always brilliant Verbal Magazine … And while we’re on the subject: Verbal Mag mainstay, author and bon viveur about town Garbhan Downey launches his latest offering, YOURS CONFIDENTIALLY: LETTERS OF A WOULD-BE MP, at 7.30pm in St. Columb’s Hall in Derry / Londonderry / Slash City tonight. If you get along, give Garbhan a good tickling for us, we hear he likes a good chuckle … Finally, here’s a book-trailer for Sir Kenneth of Bruen’s CROSS, which is worth checking out for the music alone. All together now: “Here come old flattop / He come groovin’ up slowly / He got juju eyeball / He one holy roller …”

Lingua Franca

It’s been a good month for Tana French (right), people. First her debut novel IN THE WOODS was nominated for an Edgar, then the Los Angeles Book Festival Awards, and then she was nominated for an Irish Book Award. Now, courtesy of The Rap Sheet, comes the news that IN THE WOODS has been nominated for ‘Best First Novel’ by The Strand Magazine, the full list of nominees running thusly:

• THE BLADE ITSELF by Marcus Sakey (St. Martin’s Minotaur)
• IN THE WOODS, by Tana French (Viking)
• THE MARK, by Jason Pinter (Mira Books)
• MISSING WITNESS, by Gordon Campbell (Morrow)
• WHEN ONE MAN DIES, by Dave White (Crown Publishing)

And not only that, but occasional CAP elf and head honcho at International Crime, Bernd Kochanowski, recently gave IN THE WOODS the ‘four-thumbs aloft’ review. It’s going to be a big ask for the ever-lovely Tana to repeat the performance with the sequel, THE LIKENESS, but we have faith in her. What’s that? Our humble opinions are worthless? Fair go. But maybe you’ll be more accommodating of Critical Mick’s verdict on what’s quickly becoming Irish crime fiction’s news story of the year …

In It For The Money

A trumpet tootle there please, maestro – it appears that Crime Always Pays has been short-listed in the ‘Best Specialist Blog’ category in the forthcoming Irish Blog Awards. For this we are entirely grateful, not least because it seems like every Irish blog got a mention in one or other of the categories, and we’d have been pretty miffed if we hadn’t got a mention somewhere along the line. There’s a ceremony planned for March 1st with tickets available over here, where we understand Damien Mulley is doing work that could only be described as Trojan. The elves are still undecided as to whether they’re going to go along, though, given that the general spirit seems to be one of unbridled generosity, self-deprecating modesty and generalised niceness, while the Grand Vizier is only in it for the money. Most importantly, however, is their outrage at the exclusion of Critical Mick from the various categories, and they’re pretty sure his wrath won’t be pretty. Is it coz he’s American? Anyhoo, here’s a list of the people who are for the most part offering more interesting and useful blogs than Crime Always Pays, to wit:

Best Specialist Blog, Sponsored by iQ Content:
• The Voyage
• Green Ink
• The Usual Suspect
• Eoin Purcell’s Blog
• Piaras Kelly PR
• Wood Pellet Ireland
• Cearta
• Paddy Anglican
• Oliver Moore
• Lex Ferenda
• Public Enquiry
• Red Cardinal

Our money is on Eoin Purcell, although to be fair we can’t imagine a more specialist site than Wood Pellet Ireland. Oh, and please visit the sponsor’s site or they’ll realise there’s no money in this blogging malarkey.

Crime Poetry: It’s The New Black

We’re not worthy, etc. The venerable Critical Mick gets in touch to give us a heads up on a rather intriguing event planned by the Shoestring Collective, the gist of his communiqué running thusly:

“Just thought I’d help a buddy out and forward on word about this funky forthcoming event. Colm Keegan [right] is not only a poet, he also pulls off the grittiest accounts of Dublin scumbaggery that I have read. Nice little crime pieces about punching gardaí in nightclubs, drinking by the canal, racing rings around the M50 on cocaine ...”

Said Colm Keegan, who has twice been short-listed for the prestigious Sunday Tribune / Hennessy Short Story Award, being just one element of the Shoestring Collective, which features jazz, comedy, film and traditional Irish music. Oh, did we mention Ireland’s first and possibly only ever crime poet, Said Colm Keegan? To wit:

One Kick

One kick, one tiny flick
Of his two year old foot
And I was hooked
No matter what
His mother did
My chubby, soccer-mad little kid
Would feel my care
Forever
But I never,
Saw a day like this
When his broken mother’s courtroom kiss
Would be all he’d have
For the next ten years
No sun-filled summers,
No glittering careers
Just tears
And regret
For the man he bet,
And the way
one flick
One drunk and deadly
too strong kick
Can crush a skull

The Shoestring Collective goes down on Saturday, January 19th at the James Joyce Centre, 35 North Great George’s Street, Dublin 1. Tickets available on the night at the James Joyce Centre. Doors open at 7.50pm. Price €10. Strictly no admission after 8.25pm. Show ends 11pm. For further information contact: Stephen Kennedy 087 4196365 or Sandra Adams 085 111 3740.

All The Fun Of The Fayre: Yep, ’Tis Ye Olde Crime Carnivale!

“Ta-ra-ra-boo-ki-yay / Ta-ra-ra- boo-ki-yay …” Yessiree Sideshow Bob, it’s the latest leg of the Crime Carnival, and sincere apologies if our calliope music sounds a little wonky, not to mention nothing like any music you’ve heard before at any carnival. Here at Crime Always Pays Towers, however, wonkiness is the new black, courtesy of the elves’ patented Elf-Wonking Juice. Stick around, you just might get used to it …

Before we plunge down the dark alleyway that is the crime writing blogosphere, however, we’d like to doff our caps / pay our dues / offer you a little history. Ye Olde Crime Carnivale is the brainchild of criminal mastermind Barbara Fister, who thought that it might be a rather spiffing idea for like-minded people to share their favourite blogs, websites, writers and all things crime-‘n’-interweb-related. Karen Chisholm at AustCrimeFiction took up the poisoned chalice in her beautifully manicured hand, before passing it on to the strong and silent (but deadly) J. Kingston Pierce at The Rap Sheet. Sadly, he got himself hooked up with a load of Femmes Fatales (left), and brother, that was all she (or they, for that matter) wrote.

Anyhoo, moving swiftly along … First, a brief history of Crime Always Pays. Last April, the Grand Vizier, Declan Burke, co-published THE BIG O with the tiny but perfectly formed Irish publishing house Hag’s Head Press on a 50-50 costs and profits deal. There being zip, zilch and nada in the promotion budget, and Declan Burke having a yen to start telling the world at large about the thriving Irish crime fiction scene, a blog was born. Naturally, the first thing we discovered was that someone else had got there before us. Critical Mick – for lo! It is he! – is a veritable Golden Cornflake of Irish crime fiction blogging, being the original and the best. Irascible, spicily opinionated, never less than original and mad as a box of frogs, Critical Mick should be the first port of call for anyone looking for updates on Irish crime writing or confirmation that they are, in fact, the second-biggest loony on the planet. Ah, and an honourable mention in terms of an Irish crime fiction resource goes to author Cormac Millar, who compensates for his irregular updates with a comprehensive database of all things Irish crime writing.

Coming as we do from an independent publishing viewpoint, we generally like to support the kind of lone wolves who pretty much march to their own drum, and so – trumpet parp please, maestro – it’s off to Philly to drop in on Peter Rozovsky at Detectives Beyond Borders. Given that he’s likely to celebrate anything from Eoin Colfer’s young adult fiction to crime tropes in Shakespeare, we like to imagine that yon Rozovsky has a brain like the Mekon from the old Dan Dare comics, albeit with Dan Dare’s square chin and dreamy eyes. Or is that just us? Hmmmm …

Anyway, off we go again with hop, a skip and a jump across the blogosphere to the man we believe is either Rozovsky’s evil twin / alter ego or his dastardly nemesis, Glenn Harper at International Noir. Glenn doesn’t like Michael Dibdin, but don’t hold that against him – in the last fortnight alone he’s been bigging up fiction from Australia, Iceland, the UK and Italy, and should really be put on a retainer by International Publishers Inc., if and when such a corporation comes into being.

Meanwhile, Nathan Cain over at Independent Crime gets a well-deserved plug for (a) his resolute support for independent crime and (b) his ‘Wednesday Paperback Cover’ slot (left), the less said about which the better lest the elves start drooling into the keyboard again. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of drooling, two words: Jen Jordan. Hell, her profile even describes her as ‘friend to all elves’. If we weren’t currently stalking Ruth Dudley Edwards, Jen Jordan would be reaching for the barring order as you read. Logging on to Human Under Construction is a mini-Crime Carnival every time, a veritable cornucopia of generalised weirdness that even includes crime fiction-related material once in a while …

Out with the inflatable rubber raft, then, and it’s high-ho back across the Atlantic to the UK, and Petrona, an indispensable resource run by the ubiquitous Maxine Clarke, without whose perpetual motion the entire interweb would very probably collapse in on itself in a black hole. The great fear, of course, is that one day Maxine will stop for a snooze, and then we’ll all be scuppered. In the meantime, she’s hosting an exhaustive list of blogs and websites pertaining to a bewildering variety of crime fiction and science-related topics …

Maxine regularly reviews (said he with a barely perceptible segue) for Euro Crime, hosted by Karen Meek, a site that offers a treasure trove of info on all things (yep!) Euro + Crime, not least of which is the weekly update (usually on a Sunday evening) of a slew of new reviews. In fact, Karen is very probably the evil twin sister / dastardly nemesis of the chaps at Detectives Beyond Borders and International Noir, and for all we know they’re plotting to subvert democracy and are sending messages in code via their reviews. Still, it can’t be Mills & Boon (right) all the time, right?

One last UK resource, this being one Welsh, which is reason enough for celebration – Crimefic at It’s A Crime! Or A Mystery! is currently hosting a series in which writers chose their favourite books of the year for a ‘Christmas Books’ selection, and most of her blogspace is taken up by that project at the moment. At quieter times of the year, however, you can catch all sorts of thoughtful and incisive pieces on the book industry from the perspective of a dedicated crime fiction fan. Unfortunately, as regular readers will be aware, Crimefic has recently suffered a bereavement. Our sincere condolences go out to one of the leading ladies of the crime fiction blogosphere ...

Finally, we’re going to mention International Crime, a German outpost of all things skulduggerish and hardboiled, run by Bernd Kochanowski. The gist of his manifesto runneth thusly: Gedanken über Krimis, insbesondere aus den USA, Großbritannien und Irland. As you’ve probably guessed, the site is in German, and given that our command of German is only marginally worse than our command of English, we haven’t a buggery’s idea as to what’s going on over there except to say the man’s working hard to keep the crime fiction flame a-burning bright, which is the whole point of Ye Olde Crime Carnivale. Right? All together now: Unten müssen jene Mittelstraßen ein Mann gehen...

By the way – the next Carnival? It’s Material Witness, people. And they’re serious about crime fiction. Don’t say you weren’t warned …

The Queen of Harts

A busy week for the CAP roving reporter elves – not only did they meet Brian McGilloway, they also bumped into Erin Hart (right), of Lake of Sorrows fame, whilst canoodling in the Cobblestones pub with Critical Mick (that’s the elves who were canoodling with Generalissimo Critical, not Erin). So, how lovely was she? Lovelier than Forever Changes-era Love doing a cover version of Endless Love doesn’t even start to describe it. “So what’s happening with the follow-up to Lake of Sorrows, Erin?” burbled the elves. Quoth Erin:

“Still writing away, trying to make this new book really worth the wait. The current working title is False Mermaid, and it’s the third in the series, which means Nora Gavin will be travelling back to Saint Paul to re-open her sister’s unsolved murder, leaving Cormac to make amends with his ailing father back in Ireland. I’m anxious to finish because I can’t wait to see how it turns out. You’ll be the first to know when there’s cause for celebration!”

Actually, the elves got totally scundered on the Cobblestones’ patented Groovy Good-Vibe Enhancer and not only forgot every word said during the entire night, but ended up in a bout of bare-knuckle fisticuffs with a bevy of belly-dancing dwarves, thus ending up in Big Chokey for the night. So we had to steal the above quote from Erin’s interweb mail-out thingagummy. Still, it can’t be Pulitzer prizes every week, right?

Yanks, Paddies And Micks. (Well, One Mick. But He’s Generally Plenty)

Dublin Noir, the series of Dublin-based short stories edited by Ken Bruen, has received mixed reactions since its publication last year, with some Irish scribblers harrumphing loudly at the skewed Yank-to-Paddy ratio. Mind you, the pressure brought out the best in Eoin Colfer, in ‘Waiting for PJ’, to wit:

Little Mike hadn’t the strength to laugh. “I hope you lie better than you tell the truth. Jesus, that was shite. He’ll ride us both with the leg of the table if you tell him that.”

Erm, ‘the leg of the table’? Cheers for the mental image, Eoin. Anyhoo, Critical Mick has applied his unique brand of appraisal to Dublin Noir, concluding thusly:

“Critical Mick says: Ken Bruen has done a deadly job of beating these nineteen dodgy chancers across the knees with tire irons until they coughed up nineteen wicked, enraged original stories. Though few are superstars of today’s Irish crime fiction spree, Dublin Noir introduces hot talent and captures a shade of what Dublin’s darker side is like.”

And if it’s good enough for Critical Mick, it’s good enough for us. He is the yin to our yang, after all. Yes, yes, we said ‘yang’ …

“HR Pufnstuf / He’s Your Friend When Things Get Rough …”

… especially when we have to write those blummin’ trumpet-blowing puff-pieces. Happily for us, we keep the boy Pufnstuf chained up in the basement of Crime Always Pays Towers and force him to work his magical puffery for us, evil swine-elves that we are. Over to you, HR:

“Ahem. Thank you, evil swine-elves. Well, first off, the ever wonderful Critical Mick is hosting an interview with Chief Evil Swine-Elf Declan Burke, most of which seems to be a load of old cobblers about sharks, Spartans, Francis Wilson reading the Sky weather reports, trading karate kicks with Westlife, interviewing Leonard Cohen, the joys of DIY publishing and how his wife won’t let him have a cat because she’s secretly jealous of them. Then there’s Pulp Pusher, bless their cotton socks, who for some reason best known only to themselves have posted up a piece by the Chief Evil Swine-Elf where he talks a lot about toilet brushes and the difficulty in flushing rejection letters. I ask you, is this literature? Back in my day, we had real writers. And they didn’t talk about toilet brushes. Except maybe that DH Lawrence. And James Joyce liked poo-stains. But other than them, it was ….”

Erm, yes. Cheers, HR - now here’s a hookah, go away and do what you do best …