Tuesday, May 12, 2009

And ‘The Sexiest Irish Crime Writer 2009’ Is …

Y’know, sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the detail and lose sight of the Big Picture (detail pictured, right). Forget to remember what’s really important. I mean, sure, books are important, and well written books are even more important, and it’s nice that there’s so many terrific Irish crime writers out there these days that you’d need at least two adjoining phone boxes for the AGM, if such a happening were ever to come to pass.
  But waffling on about such obscure minutiae blinds us to the really important questions, and the kind of tough questions this blog isn’t afraid to ask. To wit: Who Is The Sexiest Irish Crime Writer?
  Some names for your consideration:
(The Artist Formerly Known as Colin) Bateman
Alex Barclay
Adrian McKinty
John Connolly
Arlene Hunt
Declan Hughes
Tana French
Brian McGilloway
Ken Bruen
Ava McCarthy
Gene Kerrigan
  Naturally, modesty and / or fear of getting no votes at all prevents me from including my own windswept-but-interesting features. Oh, and I’m voting for Dreamy Gene …
  Anyway, I’ll be hoisting a poll in the usual top-left position over the next few days, so if you think I’ve left out any sexy writers who should be included, please let me know …
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13 comments:

  1. marcoMay 12, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    Not-yet or soon-to-be published authors excluded ?
    I would have given it to Gerald. His profile says he's devilishly handsome, and he wouldn't lie about important things, would he?
    Plus he knows kung-fu.

    As it is, the decision is difficult.
    Though Kerrigan's moustache commands respect...

    ReplyDelete
  2. bookwitchMay 12, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    You'll need to publish photos of all. In fact, could we have a calendar of Irish crime writers, please?

    ReplyDelete
  3. critical mickMay 12, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    Come on now! What about Cuddley Duddley?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Liam HoyleMay 12, 2009 at 3:12 PM

    Declan,

    I have my own blog up over at artimitatesknife.blogspot.com. Drop by if you'd like. I have another sample chapter up. And thanks again for posting some of my stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kieran SheaMay 12, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    Is there any question? God man! Alex Barclay. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. marcoMay 12, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    Ok, McKinty has promised me he will put on Cuban heels and a David Brent jacket.
    Vote's sold.

    ReplyDelete
  7. norbyMay 12, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    As a member of his die-hard forum, I have to go with John Connolly. No one else can compare...

    ReplyDelete
  8. seanagMay 12, 2009 at 9:27 PM

    Oh, they're all just too sexy for their own good. And that includes you, Mr. Burke. Don't try to wriggle out of the contest so easily.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gene KerriganMay 13, 2009 at 1:29 AM

    Flattered and humbled as I am by this nomination,I must respectfully ask that my name be removed from contention.

    Sources (which I'm sworn not to reveal) assure me that I'm a cinch for this year's "Sexiest Back Page Columnist With a Moustache Award", as sponsored by TV3's Xpose show. And - after several days of intense meetings - my PR people tell me that association with a competing award could only harm my chances.

    In a spirit of national unity, at this time of great economic difficulty, I urge my legions of groupies to cast their votes for Mr McGilloway.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Josephine DamianMay 13, 2009 at 7:00 AM

    Fuck modesty. I say add yourself, Declan and don't forgret to add my Prince of Darkness, Stuart Neville!

    And Gerry Brennan says he's dieting and working out these days but heck, I don't think he needs to - he looks like he's in fine form.

    Of course if Jen Jordan was Irish it would be game over.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Declan BurkeMay 13, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    Marco - Kung Fu is, of course, exceptionally sexy ... I'll take yon Brennan under consideration. McKinty in stack heels? Wouldn't that be like a re-run of Carlito's Way?

    Ms Witch - A calendar of Irish crime writers = genius. Consider it done.

    Mickster, I've had a light burning under my bushel for Ms Edwards for some time now ... Glad to see I'm not the only one.

    Keiran? Yes.

    Erm, Norby? Aren't you usually offering bribes at this point? Like, Jack Daniels brownies or suchlike?

    Seanag - A little modesty goes a long way in these here parts. But it's only fair, I guess, that I put myself up for ridicule ...

    Gene - say it ain't so! Mind you, I can see how the 'Great Xpose Tache Award' trumps CAP every time ... Next year, though, we're being sponsored by Loreal. Because we're very nearly worth it. So you might want to ditch the gals and come on board then ...

    Josephine - I actually have a little song about Stuart Neville, which I sing to Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel' ... "Stuart Neville / You've torn your dress / Stuart Neville / Your face is a mess / Stuart Neville / How could they know? / Hot tramp, I love you so ..."

    So, erm, yes, I'll include him ...

    Cheers, Dec

    ReplyDelete
  12. J. Kingston PierceMay 13, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    Hey, Declan:

    I'd love to take a shot at voting. But I think you forgot to install the poll-taking software in the top-left position on this page, as promised. Or am I missing something here?

    Cheers,
    Jef

    ReplyDelete
  13. Declan BurkeMay 14, 2009 at 4:28 AM

    Jeff - I'll be hoisting that poll later today ...

    Cheers, Dec

    ReplyDelete

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.