“Ya Wanna Do It Here Or Down The Station, Punk?” # 1,012: Patrick Shawn Bagley

Yep, it’s rubber-hose time, folks: a rapid-fire Q&A for those shifty-looking usual suspects ...
What crime novel would you most like to have written?
AMERICAN SKIN by Ken Bruen. If there is a perfect crime novel, this is it.
Who do you read for guilty pleasures?
I read crime fiction, mainstream fiction, “classics”, fantasy and SF, horror, history, comics, poetry, science, biography ... and never feel guilty about any of it.
Most satisfying writing moment?
It should come in just a couple of weeks, when I finish the first draft of BITTER WATER BLUES.
The best Irish crime novel is …?
Declan Hughes’ THE COLOUR OF BLOOD knocked me on my ass.
What Irish crime novel would make a great movie?
THE BIG O, of course. THE COLOUR OF BLOOD or the novel that preceded it [THE WRONG KIND OF BLOOD]. I’m surprised Connolly’s EVERY DEAD THING hasn’t been adapted yet.
Worst / best thing about being a writer?
Best: I get to work in my boxers with the stereo playing. Worst: Being a Maine writer, having people ask, “You think you’re Stephen King or somethin’?”
The pitch for your next novel is …?
Here’s my elevator pitch for BITTER WATER BLUES: “Publish it or I’ll split your head open with a rock, wrap you up in a tarp, weigh you down with skidder chains and sink you in the bog behind my house.” Nah, that might be coming on too strong. I guess I’d go with this one: “Take a pair of redneck wannabe hit men, a pissed-off housewife, a bored cop, a killer forced out of retirement and a porn video starring a mob boss’ niece. Mix them all up in a small Maine town and get the hell out of the way.”
Who are you reading right now?
John Connolly.
The three best words to describe your own writing are …?
Hill. Billy. Noir.

Patrick Shawn Bagley blogs at Hillbillies and Hitmen. His short story, IN THE DITCH, can be found in the latest issue of Spinetingler Magazine.