Thursday, August 16, 2007

Great Literary Spats Of Our Time # 1: Marisa Mackle vs James Joyce

For some bizarre reason, a lot of people seem to think that the majority of women’s fiction authors are bubble- headed blonde ex-air hostesses who wouldn’t know a genius if he stopped them on the street and asked to sniff their undergarments. Happily, that’s not the case with our favourite women’s fiction writer Marisa Mackle (right), the gorgeous blonde ex-air hostess and best-selling novelist of contemporary classics such as The Mile High Guy, Mr Alright on the Night, So Long Mr Wrong and Confessions of an Air Hostess. As for that James Joyce geezer, don’t get her started. Oops, someone already did:
“And don’t tell me you read Ulysees (sic) and thought it was a great book. You, I and everybody else knows you’re being a twit. Joyce was totally taking the piss when he wrote it. It’s rubbish. And this is from somebody who has a 2:1 in English from UCD and has my books (sic) as compulsory reading on 3 (sic) top university degree courses in Europe.”
See what she did there? ‘Uly-sees’. Geddit? Fair puts Finnegans Wake in the ha’penny place, no? Marisa 1, Speccy Guy 0. And okay, we know what you’re going to say – Joyce’s novels are compulsory reading on three or four top university courses in Europe too. But you fell for it! Because he’s dead and, like, totally disunfabulous! Ha! Marisa 2, Dead Eye-Patch Guy 0. You go, girl …
Next week: Marisa Mackle vs William Shakespeare, who can’t even spell.

3 comments:

  1. Haha, fucking classic. It's like Bryan McFadden saying David Bowie can't write a memorable tune.

    I love this as well from her Bebo:

    Scared Of:
    Not becoming one of the most famous writer in the world.


    I bet Joyce would have had a Bebo page too.

    "HERE'S ME AND NORA JUST CHILLIN' DOWN THE SCR. LOL!"

    Anyway, I'm off to enrol in the University of Bimbo so I can reads all of Melisases bookses! Yay!

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  2. That blonde chick-lit wan has got to be taking the piss. Please say she is. Please?
    Bobby the Rookie

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  3. Yikes, I heard about this but had to see for myself. She really is vapid.
    A

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Declan Burke has published a number of novels, the most recent of which is ABSOLUTE ZERO COOL. As a journalist and critic, he writes and broadcasts on books and film for a variety of media outlets, including the Irish Times, RTE, the Irish Examiner and the Sunday Independent. He has an unfortunate habit of speaking about himself in the third person. All views expressed here are his own and are very likely to be contrary.